25 December 2008

Why some women are not asked to dance

My personal observations on why some men do not ask some women to dance. Compiled observations from different milongas I go to

• Intimidation
Some women are not asked to dance because the men who are in the milongas are totally intimidated by how good you look, and how good you move

• Wasn't impressed
Opposite of number one (see above). They saw you dance before and were not impressed by how you moved or looked

• Nobody knows you
People normaly go with the familiar. If you're a stranger, it will probably be harder for someone to drum up courage to ask you. Coupled with the other factors, things could get worse

• The Cliques
Some people in cliques will only dance within that group. If you happened to be in a milonga that was pervaded, then you'd probably end up not being asked. 

• The way you look
Be as beautiful as you can be, and match the crowds "Persona" Dress "Hip," or "Casual" if you're in a milonga frequeted by the Nuevo. Dress "Elegant" if you're in a milonga frequented by the Vieja

• Body Language
Sometimes, the way one projects oneself on a chair discourages men from approaching you

• Women sit together (Strength in numbers) 
Some men would not ask you to dance because all the women are sitting in a big bunch. They don't want to offend the others by homing in on you to dance. So, to save the others' feelings, they won't ask you, until you break away (i.e. get a drink, get a snack, come back from the lady's room, etc.

My intent is to let people know what others may be thinking so you can leverage that. 
WHY? Because, Ampster wants all Tangueros & Tangueras to DANCE!


Anonymous said...

That last one bothers me. When I break away is exactly when I DON'T want to dance. I'm taking a break! Getting a drink or snack means not dancing.

Guys need to get up the courage and just ask the women when they are sitting together. Nobody's feelings are going to get hurt. :-)

This was a great list and is related to something I plan on writing soon for women who visit BsAs. I'll definitely include a link to your article! Great job on the blog by the way!

Anonymous said...

Here is a video I found documenting some wonderful tangueras from Argentina:


Icouldn't take my eyes off them, absolutely wonderful!

Agreed about the idea on men just asking women to dance when they're grouped together chatting!

Thanks for the great job on the blog Chris!

:-) Besos,